Attention my darlings. Welcome back to this precious little life. It’s your host with the ghost right here, right now, right down in the depths of time. What a surprise to see you all hanging around just a little bit longer with me down here. There’s no better place to save yourself from all that’s coming your way. In due course, in due course, but let’s not linger on the future. No! Today we have some unqualified delights in store for you and yours.
First up is a three-piece group with a gorilla to boot and boys and girls is this overgrown chimpanzee something to see. Don’t get too close now, y’aaaalllll. She’ll bite. She’ll scratch. She’ll knock your block off. Sit back and be enthralled as the sweet, sweet stylings of our trio called Killing Cleo take you to a space and era of funk and soul and a little bit'a disco. How delightful.
Following on, and yes we do mean following on, is a little cutie patootie with a taste for toes and fingernails – don’t worry, he never mixes them together. This nibbly little bibbly is hot on the heels of some of music’s most outrageous and grotesque acts. We’ll be saying hello soon to the Man Who Samples and his crew of cannibalistic entrepreneurs with a flair for the dramatic and a head full of what’ll know ya.
And finally, when the clocks do strike more times than plenty and the world seems to resume that old familiar turning on its axis, the curtains will draw back to reveal our last and most revered act of this evening’s, this morning’s, this afternoon’s and this always’s entertainment. She’s wearing blue boots, she’s turning dudes rude and nudes ruder. She is the wonderful, the most incomprehensible, the sensationalisationalisated Sweet Weighty Westerly and lord almighty is she feeling feisty this time around and all the times that come before and after and above and below. Give your hands a wringle and your peepers a single look at her majesty before sadly, ladies and gentlemen, we say au revoir and bonne voyage and good riddance to you lot.
So sit back and unspool your selves across this freshly polished laminate - only the best for the worst kinds of the downtrodden. Laugh, mingle, avoid the patrons scratching their shingles, but most of all, and we do mean this with the utmost sincerity, try not to wallow in those reminders of your reality. There's no avoiding it, unfortunately, but we do our best to keep it away until after curtain call.